So I figured with Valentine's Day coming up I'd put my feelings down on the upcoming holiday along with my feelings on my love life and give you all a surprise entry as well. Unfortunately for me I'm single, which doesn't bode well for me on Valentine's Day. A holiday dedicated to couples. Being a romantic at heart I enjoyed the holiday as a teenager when I was in a relationship during the holiday, but being single makes the holiday depressing for me as well as making me vulnerable for getting into unhealthy relationships.
Normally I can shrug off the fact that I'm single without a problem, but at times it gets to me. I get lonely like anyone else after all. Wanting someone to talk to about my hobbies and reading and career/schooling. As well as my writing. Among other things. Along with the physical touch of another human being. Plus it wouldn't be so bad to have a woman cook for me once in a while.
I mean I like to cook and I have a few things I wouldn't mind experimenting with when I get the chance. But there is just something about a woman's touch to a meal that makes it special. And while I crave all that I would plan to bring my own fair share of talking points to any relationship as well as carrying my fair share of the chore load.
Hell I know I'm not perfect with epilepsy and mental illness it is not easy to find someone. Plus being a big guy, makes it harder to find someone when people can be so superficial in my neck of the woods from what I've seen. But I keep looking and hoping to find that special someone, because I'm naturally optimistic. Plus a bit stubborn in general. I trust that fate has someone special in store for me.
So while at this point Valentine's Day won't be romantic for me I will be spending it with a good friend, which makes it much less depressing. I'm lucky to have such good friends who can understand my depression and help me deal with it. Sometimes it does indeed suck having a heart that is so big. But it helps having friends you know you can depend on to be there to help you when you need it. And I do my best to be there for them in return when they need it. My friends are my family after all, and family takes care of family. It will always be that way for me.
Whoever ends up with me will have to accept that, and I trust that they will be able to. I'm not sure this post will make much sense to everyone, but I hope it does. I also hope it gives you all some more insight into me on some level. As always feel free to ask any questions of leave any comments. *Tips hat and walks out the door shoulders slumped slightly.*
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