I tried writing a column yesterday, but I was just too angry
to do so. I’m still angry so this might not be as well written as I want it to
be. But I will try. But first I am going to take a few more minutes away to try
and calm down some more. Ok now I am much more calm. I’m in that place where I
can write about those things that anger and hurt me the most. Trust me it is
not always easy either, but I know it helps me and at least someone will know if
something happens to me. And make sure everything turns out the right way.
So
since this is Throwback Thursday let us start with the past. As you will know
from a previous post me and my grandfather have issues. I used to think my dad’s
side of the family was so stable and well off. That we were all so close
together and tight knit. That when the chips were down I could count on them to
be supportive and understanding no matter what. That they would love me no
matter what happened. And have my back through thick and thin. That it wasn’t
just around the holidays that we played nice. And that helped keep me going
through a lot of things. But apparently that was all an illusion and I was
being lied to and played with all these years.
Hence
one horse pill to swallow yesterday. Then to find out that my grandfather has a
problem with how I deal with certain privileges I have was another one. And
that he was blocking further privileges because of it just infuriated me. As
well as that he is pretty much going to try and block me from having a sit down
with the adopted parents. That just further stoked the fires. So after taking
some time to cool off I decided I am going to get my privileges back by being
diplomatic to a certain extent. And I will get a sit down with the adopted
parents by hook or by crook. And if he stands in my way God have mercy on them.
I am sure the adopted parents would be willing to deal with me if not for
things they had said. But now I have an uphill battle to fight.
I
can handle that and I will work with the adopted parents. I’ve wanted to from
the start. Even more so after finding out how well they have treated my son. I
sincerely want to thank them and not tread on their feet. I want to work with
them not against them. They have done such wonderful things for my son it is
beyond words. But those are the family issues as they hit me directly. Things
are looking a bit rocky for Thanksgiving as well so I might be going a new
place for Thanksgiving in the end. But I will cross that bridge when I come to
it.
I
took another break writing this to get some sleep and talk to friends to feel
better. It is helping thanks to my awesome group of friends and some other
family members. But I am still putting this out there because it hurts and
infuriates me still. And needs to be told. I said it before and I am saying it
again I will not be silent. But as for the rest of the night I am going to do
some reading and work on a new short story. As well as work on a few other
ideas in my notes. There will be details on those ideas as they develop.
But
I figure I have ranted enough for one day. So as always feel free to leave
questions and comments below. And it you want my posts to show up in your inbox
enter your email where it says follow by email. As for me I am going to get
something to drink and get to work on some of my projects. And hopefully get
some sleep at some point tonight. *Tips his hat and walks out the door heading
towards the kitchen. *
No comments:
Post a Comment