Wednesday Coffee: It’s Errand Day Once More

            It’s that time of the month for me that always sneaks up on me as I also look forward to it, usually more towards dinner time. Most times my friend, Tim, runs errands for me. But I’m slowly trying to get to doing them more and more myself once more. It gives me a chance to spend time with my mom and it gets me out of the house as well. I’m just working on getting organized this week for next term.

            So far I have some of my calendar reorganized and continuing to reorganizing it. I also have my chore checklist set up for the next term. My books are all where they need to be for the most part though I have a couple left to get. But those are for the final project so I have to get that approved first before I get them. But I don’t see a problem with getting the project approved. I’ve already done my Icebreakers. And with vacation being so short I don’t see me losing this amped up feeling as class gets near.

            I know today besides doing errands I also have to research one of my final projects a bit more. I just need to work more on figuring out a topic for it. I have a topic for my literature class. It’s just my business communications class that the final project is not clear yet. I have plenty of resources for whatever direction I choose to go in with it. I’m looking forward to both classes. I just want to make sure as I walk into them I have a fairly clear direction of where I am going with each of them.

            As for quitting smoking I can’t really tell if I am going to make it. To be honest I keep hearing it is supposed to get easier, but for me it just keeps getting harder and harder. On top of that I feel like my back is up against the wall on it. Like some people might not accept me if I don’t succeed. Mostly the ones that have been hard on my butt to quit. And I’m not talking about the ones who do it jokingly.

            I mean I know doctors are supposed to give you a hard time about it. But this feels like I could lose some friends and maybe even some family over it. And I don’t like that feeling. Makes me start questioning my motives about why I started down this path. Heck it took some of the pressure of and helped with the craving just to hear my counselor say I could go back to smoking as a viable option.

            Maybe the pressure is the problem and maybe it is just me putting it on myself. But just today I am so frustrated with the whole process it is not even funny. One minute I’m screaming at my four walls and the next wanting to cry. My biggest advice to anyone is don’t pick up that first cigarette. The torture of quitting is not worth that first cigarette. It’s frustrating and nerve wracking.

            Ok I’ve complained enough and I don’t mean to but I have to get it out someplace. As always feel free to leave questions and comments below. IF you want my posts to appear in your inbox enter your email address below where it says to follow by email. As for me I’m going to try and mellow out a bit with some music since it seems to be helping a little. *Tips his hat and walks out the door heading for the bedroom. *