Thanks to my doctor I am a little
bit out of limbo. And still on the path to quitting. Doc just wants me to work
on cutting back more and work on quitting still while taking the Chantix. So it
turns out I was using it right all along, which was a relief to me. As well as
making it easier to find my way towards quitting. It takes a great deal of the
stress away from it. Though the sleep pattern is still messed up, but not as
messed up as when I was going cold turkey.
What would help more is if there
wasn’t a snowstorm coming in yesterday. Makes it harder to get to counseling as
well as to get out in general. But Tuesday I will get a pass to the museum and
try and get some pictures of that trip. And hopefully next week when theater
times & showings come out there will something showing that I want to see. But
still not sure what to take for the headaches. The stuff I normally take won’t
touch these ones.
Luckily they are low grade headaches
with just a bit of pulsing to my heartbeat. So they aren’t super painful. More
of an annoyance really. I’m learning that talking to people helps me keep awake
when there is no cigarette to be had, so planning to limit my cigarettes during
conversations. That should greatly help me cut back as I engage in more
hangouts and face to face talks as well. Knowing I am using the Chantix right
allows me to push myself more.
Granted I had a binge smoking fest
on the 3rd, but that was careless of me. I should have been more
conservative with my smokes even on a day I’m used to being frivolous with
them. But that was then and I learned from it I hope. And going to take it one
day at a time. I’ll make plans in advance to help me, but in general it will be
one day at a time. That’s always been hard for me. I used to constantly look
towards the next weekend or week in Portland where I could be free.
So this will take some adjusting to
in some ways as I add it to my college ways as well. But I am sure I will
adjust. I always have in the past even if it took some time. What I have learned
is that the only way I am going to beat this is my way. Everyone has their own
unique stories of how they beat smoking. And I have to find my way. For once I
can’t be trying to fit a mold. I have to figure out what works to keep me
distracted and craving free.
Another way to look at it is that I
am building my own willpower house and working on the foundation, which I want
to be sturdy. As well as finished like the rest of the
house. So I’m taking great care with it. Testing every crevice making sure it
is strong, then putting the drywall up along with possibly newer floor instead
of concrete. Along with good solid stairs as well. Probably Oak stairs.
This is stuff that wasn’t taught to
me as a kid so it makes it a bit harder. There has never been a quit in
anything my family does (part of the problem right there if you ask me) until
recently when it came to health problems. And even then how they overcame their
problems has been over exaggerated. I swear my family guards its pride so much
that it is like a disease through the core of us. I wonder how bad it will hit
me when I am older since it already shows up in me now as it is.
I suppose I yacked your ears off
enough for one day. As always feel free to leave questions and comments below.
If you want my post to appear in your inbox everyday enter your emails address
in the box below where it says follow by email. As for me I am going to go find
some breakfast. *Tips his hat and walks out the door heading for the kitchen. *
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