Yes,
today is my birthday, and once more I am a year older. So today is a bit of a
reflecting day on the blog. After all it is good to sit back once a year and
take a look at what you have accomplished, and what you need to work on. Called
it a kind of long term sort of meditation if you will. I’m just trying to think
of where to start the reflection of my year of 33. And as I sit back and think
of it as well as the season we are in the best place to start is probably with
family.
I’ve
gotten closer to my family over the past year. Both on my mom’s side and my dad’s
side. I’m feeling more like I belong now. There is still work to be done don’t
get me wrong. But we are off to a good start. Still working on dealing with my
past in counseling but both sides of the family have been extremely supportive
of it. Plus, it helps that my dad is getting better about having phone
conversations. And I am getting better at talking about things that interest
him while intertwining them with what I like. So we are finding a balance in
the conversation. Before her knee surgery me and mom were finding a way to see
each other weekly, which was nice. I think I’m going to suggest my counseling
days be a workout day for us come the new year.
I’m
not blind to the fact that I need to lose a fair amount of weight. And mom
wants to go to the gym. It would be a good way to spend time together. I think
it doesn’t work with Tim trying to do it for me is because I am so used to
sitting around watching television and playing video games with him for the
most part. I mean sure we have gone for walks to places on a whim, but the only
regular place we went was a convenience store at night to stock up for the day
back during the days and nights of the YMCA. That doesn’t take away from him
being like a brother to me or being a big help to me where I am right now. But
I am starting to realize I have to do something, so he did get that message
through to me finally.
And
I know I need to get my affairs in order as the saying goes. Not because there
is anything wrong with me, but because you never know what could happen
tomorrow. So that means I will be sitting up late tonight writing out some
things. And calling tomorrow, technically now today, to schedule a meeting with
a lawyer. Something I should have done years ago, but just kept putting off. I’m
working on not putting things off so tomorrow will be a day of phone calls and
planning it seems. I’ve been trying on my own but I am falling short. And I
know I am falling short especially after Monday.
So
now I need to figure out what I have for resources at my disposal right now and
supports and how I can lean on them to get to where I want to be. It sucks
because I thought I was doing better but first step to getting better is
admitting there is a problem. Second step is doing something about it. I have
some ideas and they will require some phone calls to see if they are possible.
So tomorrow I will make some phone calls before I do the blog to see if these
things are possible and update you, my readers, on what is going on.
But
for now I have some writing that needs to be done in case something does happen
to me. But before I get to it I have to take some time to think. Since
essentially what I am going to write will be my final words for this lifetime.
Not that I am dying tonight just that they will be the final words of mine read
after I am gone and they won’t be read before then by anyone but me as I change
them as life goes on. But feel free to leave questions and comments below. As
always if you want my columns to appear in your inbox enter your email address
in the box below where it says follow by email. As for me I am going to go get
some soda and ponder what I want my last words to be. *Tips his hat and walks
out the door heading towards the kitchen.*
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