Good evening, been a hell of a day.
I would have written sooner, but basically woke up and had to go to counseling.
It was a good session, but left me sore afterwards from the emotions coming
out. Not all bad some were good as well. And right from writing this I have to
write my Discussion Board for the week. But it is a simple one so I should fly
right through it. I’m feeling pretty good tonight, unlike other nights when at
this point I am starting to feel sleepy. Still working on getting a Kindle copy
of an autographed book I got, just going to take some time maybe. Going to do
some reading tonight after homework, and somehow I missed having coffee today.
Have to make a note to not do that tomorrow.
But today’s counseling session got
me thinking about my teenage years when I felt a lot of hurt as some guys do
when like me they are put into the friendzone. That area where you are too good
of friends to ever date. For guys like me who wear our heart on our sleeve that
hurts. It makes us wonder seeing all these unworthy guys getting the girls if
we are doing something wrong. Some guys end up turning into assholes thinking
that is what they have to do to get the girl. I am not one of those guys I am
proud to say. Though I did go through a lot of pain and emotions along the way.
And no I don’t think every woman
should bow to my wishes. I just get tired of women saying where are all the
good men and then friendzoning me as too good of a friend to date when I am one
of those good guys. It kind of gets on my nerves a bit. It’s like you complain
about the lack of good guys and I think here is my chance and then I get a
dagger through the heart. It hurts and it is frustrating. And that was a lot of
my teenage years in the early parts of them. Then it was being the secret
boyfriend because I was not in the same social group. Then I got to have a
girlfriend and be in public with her and my peers ridiculed me because she was
two years younger than me.
And that is only at the halfway mark
of my teen years, so how the hell I go through them is a miracle to me with all
the emotional scarring and trying to drive me over the edge. Sometimes I stop
and take a look and wonder how I made it through that minefield. It wasn’t easy
that is for sure. Since sometimes even your allies do damage to you without
meaning to. Being put in the friendzone still hurts but not as much as when I
was a teenager. Maybe because then I was going through so many changes and
emotions it was just more of an acute hurt. Now I am more accepting of it and
it is just more of a feeling like I wished I made a different move type of
thing. But I have to be me and somewhere out there is someone who wants me for
me as badly as I want them for them.
For now I put it in fates hands and
just keep meeting people and seeing where it goes. Though I have hopes right
now about a certain person. But that is being kept under wraps for now. Some of
you know and some of you will know when it is time to know. As always feel free
to leave comments and questions below. As for me I have to hit the books and
beat the deadline looming. *Tips his hat and walks out the door towards the
study.*
No comments:
Post a Comment