Another year and another night spent up fine tuning the
house for the yearly housing inspection. Sure they tell you it is only for maintenance
issues, but you know they are going to criticize your every little speck of
dirt. So, you spent the night before worrying about it and cleaning everything
one last time. Even when you prepare early you still stress the night before.
And, then all goes smoothly and you pass. It has been the same every year I
have been here. And, every year I worry right up until inspection time then
seem to float through it.
But, on another note I have come to terms with the fact I
am still not in a good place. And, despite trying I can’t seem to get out of
it. No I’m not a danger to myself. I just can’t seem to get out of the house on
a regular basis like I want to or get moving like I want to. I’ve tried various
ways, and at one time I was doing good with it. Way back in my twenties. But, then
I got hit with a massive wave of depression. And, recovery has been slow from
it.
This isn’t the first time I have isolated myself inside
from nature either. I did it back around when I was 18, and my friend, Mark,
introduced me to Amistad back then. It was a real life preserver to me back
then. It helped me get out of the house on a regular basis. So, to a point I am
going back to the basics and getting more involved with Amistad once more. I
can’t say I won’t burn out there once more, but it helped me before and maybe
it can help me again.
Besides I have a few friends down there that could use
some real support. And, I am good at doing that, so I would like to see what I
can do to help them through their time of need. Plus, Amistad has taken a turn
I don’t like and with this season of change coming in I’d like to be part of
the guiding force that comes along with it. I’d like to think that being a member
for 16 years gives me a bit of credibility to say how things were meant to be.
Along with the rest of the members who have been there
longer than me and left. I hope they will come back and help guide things back
in the right direction. Amistad has often been filled with drama I won’t deny
it. But, it is how we deal with it that matters. People forget I blend in well
and I listen to everything going on. And, I am going to be sitting down with
the new executive director as soon as possible and letting him know what I
know. As well as trying to find some solutions that get people help not just
punish them since Amistad is about helping people.
No, this is not to scare people or drive them away. This is
to encourage people to come forward with problems that they need help with so I
can talk to him about them and see what we can do to help. Or if someone knows
of an issue they can bring it to me and I can speak for them if they like. I
realized talking to an old friend yesterday that someone has to step up for the
older members as well as some of the newer ones and be a guiding force as a
mentor of sorts and a guardian.
Most of the newer ones don’t know me yet, but they will.
But, I am caught between those two generations of members. I didn’t start my
path into college seeking to be an advocate it has just sort of come to me
naturally. I think that is how it happens with most advocates and is probably
the best way for it to happen. One other thing I am going to do when I come
back to Amistad is seek out a column in the monthly newsletter.
I want to call it My
Little Corner Of Amistad and I want it to be just a gentle nudge in the
right direction for people. Somehow I think one of my constant reminders will
be about coffee cups getting taken care of. But, something Peter has said stuck with me
about having genuine relationships and caring for one another. To me that
shouldn’t be just Amistad that should be the world. I know we have a long road
ahead of us to rebuild Amistad to its former greatness. But, in some ways it
has greatness unlike times before.
And, thanks to Chuck and the board from a few years ago
it has been guaranteed to be around for a long time to come. Now it is up to me
and others to make sure it is something worth being around. I’m willing to put
in the work and I know there are others who will step up. For now, I will carry
as much of the weight as I need to. But, no one can do it alone this has to be
a community wide effort.
I know I have been long winded today, but this is
something I am passionate about and inspired to do. I hope you feel that
passion come through and enjoyed your stay here. Feel free to post your
questions and comments below. And, if you want my columns to appear in your
inbox enter your email address in the box below where it says to follow by
email. As for me I have more schoolwork to do and some more thinking to do.
*Tips his hat and walks out the door. *
Great one Chris and I am glad all went well with the inspection!
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