I know I’ve been gone all week, and
I’m sorry for that. But been working on an overdue assignment for school and
that has to take precedent. I’m still working on it even now, but needed to
clear my head a little bit so took a short time out. I swear this quitting
smoking thing just isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I’m down to about 1
cigarette a day. But I’m trying and it gets easier each day, but still that
urge to light up holds on to me. I’m not sure why I can’t fully let go.
I’m not sure if it is the stubbornness
in me or part of my mental illness. Whatever it is I keep fighting it till the
end of the day but then I have to have that one cigarette. I take naps, I eat,
I read, I write, I mess around on the computer, I just try to find something to
distract me from the cravings as they come. And the med they have me on to quit
smoking makes it easier so that I am not like a Grizzly Bear going through this
but still it is not easy.
And the good thing is there are no
weird thoughts like they said I might have with this medicine. Unless that
means as a writer I already have weird thoughts as it is. But I think that
comes with the territory of being a writer. You have to go to the edge of the
universe to be able to write some of the stuff that is written. You have to ask
some of the really hard question. About life, yourself, reality, just
everything.
And yes that can really warp your
thinking if you aren’t ready to handle it. Some people are just blown away by
some of the things I come up with. I just think it up partly from real life and
partly from daydreaming most times. Other times it just seems to come to me out
of the blue. I swear I will meet my muse someday and he will be this guy
wearing glasses drinking a ton of coffee with a nervous twitch and have a ton
of papers with him.
And he’ll probably be like you mean
I get to go on vacation finally. And I’ll be like well if I’m your only client
than yes. And he’ll drop everything and run off to someplace he’s always wanted
to go. I wouldn’t blame the poor guy either. I mean I do over work my muse a
bit. Considering all the writing for school and the blog and free time. He
doesn’t get much of a break. I wouldn’t be surprised if he curses me out every
now and then.
I wonder if that qualifies as a
weird though, if it does then I am just screwed because that is my regular thinking
in general. I just come up with weird little things like that on a dime. Some I
write down others I tell to friends. It all depends on my surroundings and what
I am feeling. When you get a good comedian on stage that tells stories you are
dealing with a writer that has honed his or her craft for the stage.
I wonder how I will do book talks
ever since I have stage fright. But I am working on overcoming that slowly but
surely. But I have taken a long enough break and better get back to work on my
assignment. Feel free to leave questions and comments below. As always if you
want my posts to appear in your inbox enter your email address below where it
says follow by email. For now I’m back to work on schoolwork. *Tips
his hat and walks out the door heading towards the study. *
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