Today's Throwback Thursday is a request. My counselor wanted me to think on when my messy ways started, since as many of you know I'm not the best housekeeper. So I figured it fit right in with Throwback Thursday. So without further ado on with the show.
My messiness was at its absolute worst in my late teens early twenties, and has gotten better in my late twenties early thirties. But that is not where it starts. To find the root of that we have to go way back to when I was around 8 maybe. I had been used to adults making me pick up messes at this point, even in my own room. Everything had its own spot that it went. But when I got to my step mother's house my room was already chaotic and there wasn't much organization to it. Everything just sort of went wherever I felt like throwing it. I did like having a couch there but no one ever came over to enjoy it with. I wish I could redo that room and some things about there that might have influenced how my messy ways evolved from there.
I think one thing I would have changed is I would have gotten rid of that couch. It just took up room that needed to be used for other things. Nothing against the couch it was a nice sturdy couch. I would have put bookshelves and a desk in its place. And then I would have hoped my step mother and my dad would have gotten on my case about keeping my room picked up. I think those things would have helped keep me from starting down a messy path possibly.
My mom wasn't much better help in my teen years when I was living with her. She just did all the cleaning for me instead of making me do my own laundry, and clean my room. She just let me go off with my friends and do whatever I wanted for the most part. And I know I'm an intimidating guy, but still I was at a point most of my teen years where I was willing to listen. It was when she tried to crack down in my late teen years after I had been set into certain ways that things went awry.
And don't get me wrong I love my parents, and yes hindsight is 20/20. Kids don't come with manuals I know. But it is hard when one thinks the secret is always working and the other has to battle their own demons. I know they tried, and now I'm trying to make sense of that past and come to terms with it to try and be who I want to be. Not everything I say about them will be positive here or negative. Even now as I write this I'm still coming to terms with who they are and finding answers that help me understand them. I'm sure they have things they wish they had done differently or wish I had done differently. But we each took our own road to this point and we are working on our relationships now.
But back to the topic at hand. So I arrived into adulthood and got out on my own. I had no real discipline for cleaning or doing laundry or any of that. My first two years living on my own I survived on junk food I'll be honest. But I was also very active so it didn't affect me much. I was always walking half the city it seemed like. And hanging out wherever my friend Tim was and we would work together to clean wherever we were. Even when I got my first apartment it would get bad when Tim wasn't around. He would come over and we would clean and get everything picked up and then just hangout or do whatever.
Now if need be I think I could handle dishes fairly well though still a little shaky on them. But Tim comes over two or three times a week and at least one of those times we clean the house. He's like the older brother I never had. He's patient with me most days though I can frustrate him. He knows I have a long way to go to being totally independent but I'm slowly getting there. Since he takes so much out of his time for me when there is something he really wants I try to make sure he gets it. I remember how it used to be going without, and it isn't fun. Right now I'm working on tackling the kitchen and my room as the two rooms I'm responsible for full time. That is my next cleaning goal. So far I'm a tenth of the way there, but making progress slowly. So there you have my messy ways start to finish and a little in between. *Tips hat and walks out.*
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